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This is a peer review of the Rough draft paragraph that I wrote, and the one
that I reviewed as well.
| Current
Forum: Peer Review: One Paragraph of Rough Draft |
| Date:
Thu Apr 8 2004 10:41 pm |
| Author:
Smith, Sharnae Lashaun <nae_smith@hotmail.com> |
| Subject:
Dance Education |
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Dance
Education is one of the fine arts taught at many schools here in
the United States today. It has a way of creating a great
learning environment for students and teachers through movement,
and the interpretation of movement and, "By offering
additional means for teachers to accommodate different learning
styles and paces".(Waggon,1999) Technology has had a great
impact on society as well. It has been weaved throughout the
public schools through the use of computers, televisions,
radios, and intercom systems. It transforms the lighting on any
given stage to display depth, life and convey the dances message
more clearly. Technology has now been weaved into Dance
Education. Technology supports fine arts education in K-12
schools in a positive way.
Waggon, T(1999) Technology in Dance Education, Texas, CEDFA,
Retrieved February 23, 2004 from http:
//finearts.esc20.net/dance//dance_strategies/ da_strat_tech.html
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| Current
Forum: Peer Review: One Paragraph of Rough Draft |
| Date:
Tue Apr 13 2004 1:04 am |
| Author:
Meinecke, Greg <gmeine1@towson.edu> |
| Subject:
Re: Dance Education |
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| I like your
paragraph because it introduces the idea of technology into
dance education. Before reading your paragraph I wasn't aware of
much of the technology there was available. I also like your
quote. My only suggestion for you is to possibly remove or
rework the sentence "Technology has had a great impact on
society as well" because I don't think it has much
relevence to your topic. |
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| Current
Forum: Peer Review: One Paragraph of Rough Draft |
| Date:
Thu Apr 8 2004 7:29 pm |
| Author:
Walker, Jasmine Nicole <Jcutie2385@aol.com> |
| Subject:
Jasmine's Rough Draft paragraph |
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The debate
over whole language and phonics has gone on for years. Which way
is best in teaching people, and particularly children how to
read? The education world has been debating and still there are
no exact answers. During the 1960's, teachers favored the
Phonics approach and within the past twenty years whole language
has been more favorable. In more recent year’s instruction
specialist have argued that some sort of middle ground should be
reached because it would give children the benefits of both.
(Cromwell 1997) Will there ever be a common ground met by both
literary giants?
Cromwall, S. (Sept. 22, 1997). Curriculum: Whole Language and
Phonics: can they work together. Retrieved February 26, 2004, http://www.education-world.com/a_curr/curr029.shtml.
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| Current
Forum: Peer Review: One Paragraph of Rough Draft |
| Date:
Tue Apr 13 2004 10:17 am |
| Author:
Smith, Sharnae Lashaun <nae_smith@hotmail.com> |
| Subject:
Re: Jasmine's Rough Draft paragraph |
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| Your
paragraph is great. It introduces your topic well and gets you
audience interested in the paper early. The question that you
posed at the end was a great was to catch the attention of the
reader to want to know the answer to the same question , and to
want to know more background on your topic. The only thing I can
suggest is that you provide a slight definition of phonics, and
whole language so that people who dont know what it mean can
have an idea of what it means when they read that paragraph. |
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Send Comments and Questions to:
ssmith12@towson.edu
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