I am not a blogger

I'm thinking about travelling. A lot of my friends have talked about heading out on some European journey this summer, and honestly think, that without a doubt, Italian chicks will love them. Ok. So I may be a little young. But I know enough. And I've seen a few of those European films (once saw La Dolce Vita on TV at like, three in the morning, and Italian chicks are not like American chicks ). This woman was from some other world. Even the senior college girls who do Theater classes are not like the woman in that film. And even with my adolescent arrogance, I know where my limits lie.

Anyways, so they're talking about heading out, with Italy as their Holy Grail. Why? Cos they know a few phrases in Italian and they think can impress a few of the local girls. I'm pretty sure that Italian guys are better equipped at doing that kind of thing.

When we went to Mexico, they drank so much Jager that they could not speak. In Italy they have that Limoncello drink - I've had it before. It's really sweet, the kind of sweet that sticks to your tongue and stays there. It gets you wasted. That's one of the neat things about the Europe thing - we can drink ourselves stupid, which will be hilarious. But we'll be losing any sophisticated social skills that could impress any girl, let alone a European one. I'm sorry, but it's true. They're like 'Dude, we've already been on the cheap flights website, just ask your mum for the money and we can get on it'. As if that's the complicated bit over. As if my mum's juts gonna hand out the money (actually she will, but...).

Ok, so even If I get my cheap flights around Europe, I've then got to organise my travel insurance. To be honest, that's not a huge problem. I used to do it last thing, with Go Travel, online, no stress and no dent to the wallet. But it's getting the funds for hotels and for general good times when I'm there, for my limoncello shots at the bar. And I like checking out the museums and stuff, you know? I don't mind living it a little bit rough around the edges, but if I got to share a bunk bed with some stranger I don't know? No. Can. Do.

I've travelled around Europe, and I've enjoyed the finer things in life. I'm no snob, but Europe's got a certain kind of class doesn't it. It has a crisp chino charm. Surely the whole point of basking in the Italian sun is to do it in a kind of upmarket way. I'll say it again. I am no snob. I don't even mind staying in some pretty unsavoury places, as long as I have my own bed.

Saying that, I just found a whole load of hostels that don't look too terrible at all and I guess what I save on accommodation I can spend on chinos.

More importantly though - do I want to go on journey with my fellow frat brothers in search of girls? Can I be suave, cool, sophisticated? I need to get me some Italian phrases...

Voglio vederti stasera.

I think this means: I want to see you tonight. Great: I can show off my exquisite dorm room...